Another birthday has arrived

Well, here in Oklahoma, it's officially my thirty-somethingth :) birthday. Another year gone. It's been a rough one... just lost my Grandfather last week, ended a three year relationship a few months ago, had a lot of rough things happen. But, I guess, it's time to, "officially" start the year over... forget waiting for Jan. 1! I'm declaring the new year NOW!!! lol

Even with the rough year, I do have a lot to be grateful for. I look over at my nine year old, sleeping peacefully, knowing we've got a roof over our heads, and he doesn't have to be worried about my ex being "mean to Mama". My fourteen year old is getting ready for school tomorrow (still, at this late hour, but at least he's great about getting up in the mornings! lol). My daughter and I have grown closer than ever in the past few months. My oldest son... while he's struggling with the peer pressure and every day pressures of being an "almost adult", and at times, driving me completely nuts, he's alive and well, and still a good kid. He loves his Mama.

My father, whom I have always idolized, and I had a rough patch a few months ago, but I thank God for the recent communication I have had with him... as, yes, I can be a very stubborn person at times, but I couldn't imagine life without my "Daddy". My Aunt and I have become closer than we have ever been. I never really got to know her until my few months out in California recently.

My Mom was trying to take time off to come see me for my birthday. Doesn't look like it's going to happen, but just the fact that she was genuinely trying, means the world to me.

Things have been really bleak lately, but then, I do have to really open my eyes to the blessings that I do have in my life, and just thank God. Sometimes, things really do seem so overwhelming, and overbearing, but when I really open my eyes, I do see that, despite all the hardships, I DO have a purpose, and I do have four little ones (not so little anymore) that need and love their Mama, no matter how many mistakes I have made in my life... how could anyone not be grateful for that?!

So... here's to another year... hopefully one that's better, easier, and less painful. Here's to doing my part, to try to have a positive outlook and do whatever I can to make that happen. Here's to being thankful that I am still here, getting to enjoy those special joys that are mine alone.

Happy Birthday to me...