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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Parent Bloggers Wanted
Genuine Jobs.com
I've heard good things about it, although I haven't personally used it. They list freelance jobs of all sorts.
Genuinejobs.com
 | NEVER a Fee! ALWAYS FREE. | |
 | ||
| Over 1400 work from home, freelance, contract and telecommute jobs. | |
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| New vacant jobs added daily. | |
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| Help with Your Resume. | |
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| Help with the job application process. | |
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| Help with your Cover Letter. | |
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| Help with your Job Interview Skills. | |
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| Additional Job resources (places to find jobs) | |
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| Work from home blog where working from home issues are discussed. | |
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| Did I mention that it's 100% FREE? | |
Genuinejobs.com
Monday, December 29, 2008
iRazoo
Another paid to search... this one sounds much easier to rack up the points quickly, and I've been told that a lot of folks, also, win instant prizes, like gift cards, just randomly, from doing the searches. I'm gonna give it a try!
How does our search engine and points system work?
Step 1: Perform a regular search query. You will get back your search results (our search results are a real-time compilation of the top search results from the best search engines). For each search you perform, you will receive "2" points (up to a maximum of 100 points per day). Once you click on a result, you will open up a new webpage with the search result website in it.
Step 2: At the top of the webpage, you will see our frame which asks you to decide to either recommend or not recommend a website to other users. By recommending or not recommending a website, you will receive "4" points (up to a maximum of 100 points per day).
Step 3: You can also receive points by referring a friend on our "Refer a friend" link at the bottom of every page. Each friend of yours that registers on the iRazoo website will earn you "50" points (there is no limit to the number of points you can earn this way. You have no daily limit, the number of points you can earn are unlimited!!!)
Step 4: Redeem all your hard earned points on our "Accounts" page by exchanging them for exciting prizes such as MP3 players, cameras, memory sticks, game systems, etc!
Step 5: In addition to more points, each person you refer to the iRazoo.com website increases your chances of earning an Instant-Win Gift Certificate! How you may ask? It's simple. If anybody you refer to the iRazoo website wins a Gift Certificate, you will win that same Gift Certificate as well! Gift certificates are awarded randomly to users just for searching and/or voting on websites.
The best way to earn more points or win an Instant Gift Certificate is to use iRazoo as your everyday search engine and to refer as many people as possible to iRazoo.
Your benefits for using iRazoo:
- You get excellent search results (we aggregate all the data from the best search engines on the planet!)
- You get to help further refine our excellent search results for others as well as benefit from other's refined search results
- You get points for each search you perform, each website you recommend/not recommend, and each referral you make
- Best of all, you get to exchange your points for fantastic prizes!
Another site for Freelancers
Haven't had time to check it out thoroughly, am sick, but have heard good reviews. They have freelance positions for writers, transcribers, copywriters and many more... looks like it's worth checking into! Please leave a comment if you have any thoughts on the site, positive or negative!
Demand Studios
Demand Studios
Saturday, December 27, 2008
A Mom's Letter to Santa
Found this on Gather, and just HAD to share it! Here's the link to the original posting:
Gather
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year.
I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand,
Visited their doctor's office more than my own doctor,
And sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money
To plant a shade tree on the school playground.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over
Several Christmas's since I had to write this letter
With my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt
In the laundry room between cycles, and who knows
When I'll find any more free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color except
Purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or
Flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my
Screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the
Seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint
Resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music;
A television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing
Talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment
Behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says,
"Yes Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with
Two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip
All the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting
"Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off
Your brother" because my voice seems to be just out of my
Children's' hearing range and can only be heard by the dogs....
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for
Enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same
Morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room
Temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
Brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to
Declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around
The house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses
Of an organized crime family.
Well Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my
Feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door
And come on in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to the cookies on the table but don't eat too many
Or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always, MOM!!
P.S. One more thing . . . You can cancel all my requests if you can
Keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
Gather
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year.
I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand,
Visited their doctor's office more than my own doctor,
And sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money
To plant a shade tree on the school playground.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over
Several Christmas's since I had to write this letter
With my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt
In the laundry room between cycles, and who knows
When I'll find any more free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color except
Purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or
Flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my
Screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the
Seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint
Resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music;
A television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing
Talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment
Behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says,
"Yes Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with
Two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip
All the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting
"Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off
Your brother" because my voice seems to be just out of my
Children's' hearing range and can only be heard by the dogs....
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for
Enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same
Morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room
Temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
Brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to
Declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around
The house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses
Of an organized crime family.
Well Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my
Feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door
And come on in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to the cookies on the table but don't eat too many
Or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always, MOM!!
P.S. One more thing . . . You can cancel all my requests if you can
Keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Opinion Outpost
I have been a member of Opinion Outpost since 2005, and they are still one of my favorite survey companies. I, easily, earn ten bucks a week, more if I try. Here is a screenshot of some of my recent activity:
| Check# | Request Date | Status | Status Date | Points | Cash Value |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
12/26/2008 | Processing | 100 | $10.00 | ||
12/16/2008 | Processing | 100 | $10.00 | ||
| 318804 | 12/15/2008 | Sent | 12/23/2008 | 100 | $10.00 |
| 317561 | 12/9/2008 | Sent | 12/23/2008 | 500 | $50.00 |
| 308772 | 11/20/2008 | Sent | 12/1/2008 | 50 | $5.00 |
| 308087 | 11/12/2008 | Sent | 12/1/2008 | 50 | $5.00 |
| 289359 | 10/20/2008 | Sent | 11/3/2008 | 60 | $6.00 |
| 273953 | 09/29/2008 | Sent | 10/15/2008 | 110 | $11.00 |
| 273951 | 09/19/2008 | Sent | 10/15/2008 | 88 | $8.80 |
| 257934 | 09/7/2008 | Sent | 10/15/2008 | 82 | $8.20 |
| 227190 | 07/30/2008 | Sent | 08/18/2008 | 177 | $17.70 |
| 209763 | 06/27/2008 | Sent | 07/14/2008 | 213 | $21.30 |
They are a reliable company, and offer a lot of surveys that are really fun to take. Check it out, by clicking on the banner! Good luck, and have fun, letting companies know what you really think of their products!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Great list of free downloadable resources for affiliate marketing, and more!
This entire site is beautiful, a large part of it devoted to protecting the environment, spiritual writings, etc., but they also have lots of fabulous information for those who are into, or would like to learn more about, affiliate marketing. This site has been around for a long time, and is a very respectable and trustworthy site.
From the page:
Just fill-in your first name & e-mail address in the form below. We'll ask you to confirm your request, & then you will instantly find yourself at your download page of the offerings.
We currently have 100+ Free Offerings 'inside' from Ewen Chia, Mike Filsaime, Mike G., Liz Tomey, Michael Rasmussen, Tahir S., Dan Cauthron, and Sean Mize,
only to name a few!
Additions weekly (at least).
Last Updated: 12/23/08
Recent additions include: Giveaway Event Updates, Free Graphics From Mike F. added, Simple Product Big Profits Free Mp3 & Affil. Prgrm. addition, & Affiliate Marketing For The Holidays 2008...From Michele Wrobleski w/(Giveaway Rights!)
Freebies@rwithcare
Associated Order Processors
I read through this one pretty thoroughly, and it sounds great, for anyone who enjoys, or is good at, telephone work, especially taking customer orders. It is mainly inbound calling, but if you are really good, they promote you to outbound calls (why someone would want that, I wouldn't know, but to each their own). Their pay rate sounds really good, and they provide thorough training. Again, no fees or anything to apply, this is a legitimate company, hiring legitimate employees.
So if you are dedicated to being a professional and ready to be challenged, let's get started with your application
Application For Freelancers
We treasure individuals that can follow directions, are flexible, take pride in what they do and understand that we are here to service our customers. Our hiring process starts by you reading our company information below and completing an application. If we believe that you may be a good match for our company, we will ask you to go through a series of interviews, take a personality/competency test and complete a background check. After those have been successfully completed, we will start your training.
Our training has changed a lot over the last few months, which is why our interview process has become more challenging. We are looking for people that will be with us for a long time, that are dedicated, and willing to be challenged. Our training will last for several weeks. It includes sales training, computer training on our systems and taking live customer calls. You receive intense supervision for the first few weeks and then we reduce our monitoring of your activities as your comfort level increases. As you become more competent with our systems and customers, we increase your responsibilities.
So if you are dedicated to being a professional and ready to be challenged, let's get started with your application
Openings @ Accepted.com
Openings @ Accepted.com
Accepted.com is growing!
Accepted.com's editors are independent contractors who value their independence and flexibility. They also take genuine pride and satisfaction from helping our clients achieve their educational and professional goals. We are seeking editors to add to our staff in the early summer. If you are a freelance editor/writer who likes helping people achieve their dreams while working with them to focus and clarify their ideas, please read on.
Accepted.com is looking for the following credentials/experience:
- Extensive professional writing background.
- Experience working in a mentoring role.
- Admissions committee experience .
- Must use a PC (not a Mac).
If you have the above credentials and are interested in working for Accepted.com, please submit your resume with a cover letter.
Companies that need at home operators for orders, etc.
ACD Direct
Alpine Access
Connect Plus, LLC
Customer Loyalty, Inc.
Executive Secretaries
LiveOps
Have read many great reviews of this company.
O’Currance Teleservice
Service 800
Time Communications
VIP Desk
VoiceLog
West At Home
I have actually had many friends who worked for West, and really enjoyed it. I used to work for them at one of their physical sites. They offered great benefits, and it was all inbound, people calling to submit orders or for tech support, etc.
Willow
Working Solutions
A Little Christmas Cheer!
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were
out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards
cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were
scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a
shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves
had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration,
he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of
little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the
broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the
broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door,
yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a
lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me
to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were
out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards
cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were
scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a
shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves
had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration,
he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of
little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the
broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the
broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door,
yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a
lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me
to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Find Freelance Jobs, All Free Listings!
Become a freelance programmer, web designer, copywriter or translator and let us help you find customers from all over the world! It's free to sign up. Join us and start making money Today!
Tons of free job listings, that can be done at home, including writing gigs, telephone work, proof-reading, transcription and more! It is free to register, and you never pay a dime for anything on the site. Bid on jobs that interest you... I just signed up a couple days ago, and have already gotten more notifications of new opportunities than I can handle! Good luck, and please let me know how it goes!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I'm becoming a grinch!
Whew! Christmas is almost here! Although I love this time of year, I can't wait for things to settle down a bit! We just moved this month, and have already had problems with our new apartment, just got three days of flooding taken care of (water heater leaking), got a new stove this morning, as with the one that was in here, only one burner would work... the other three would shoot sparks at you! lol Got the garbage disposal working... whew! Went out to do some last minute gift shopping tonight, only to discover Walmart, Target, and every other similar store was already closed! Someone stole the MP3 players we bought our boys, and we were just desperate to buy a few more things to try to make things better for tomorrow morning, so they wouldn't think Santa just didn't give a damn! lol
Anyway, I'm wiped out, but thankful to have a little time to chill out online! As I mentioned, in the description of this blog, I work at home, and I am planning to start working my butt off, providing some links and ideas for those of you interested in those sorts of things. I'm also a big freebie lover, so will be posting lots of links to great freebies.
Just wanted to check in, and although I know I don't have a lot of readers yet, especially since I just started this blog a couple days ago! lol I just want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, or whatever you celebrate. If you don't celebrate any holidays this time of year, I just hope you have a wonderful time anyway!
Love,
The Grinch! lol
A few freebies... more to come!
FREE Savers Calendar with $200 Savings
http://www.savers.com/surveys/customer/index.php
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FREE CLIF BAR Training kit. It's got samples for your mouth and training tips for your brain.
http://www.clifbar.com/play/pace_registration/
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
FREE Haircut w Purchase two (2) bottles of participating Herbal Essence Shampoo and/or Conditioner
http://www2.tlc-rewards.com/hehaircutoffer/home
Purchase two (2) bottles of participating Herbal Essence Shampoo and/or Conditioner product and receive one (1) free beauty treatment (haircut only) from a participating beauty salon.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
FREE 1.75 oz sample Don Francisco's Coffee
http://www.don-francisco.com/mammamia
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
FREE Samples of Paradise Island Gourmet Microwave Popcorn
http://www.paradise-island-popcorn.com/free_samples.html
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
FREE Toxin Detection Patch
http://gainvitalhealth.com/free_patch_offer.html
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
FREE Home & Holidays Gift Pack offer. The first 20,000* registrants only will receive free Ziploc® products, plus $8.50 in coupons for Ziploc®, Glade®, Pledge® and Drano®.
Gift packs will be mailed by January 31, 2009.
http://www.rightathome.com/offers/NovGiftPack/
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FREE Caterpillar Bull Dozer Poster
http://www.catkfamily.com/poster.php
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
$15 gift card offer from Olay
http://olay.com/Club_Olay/dec2008/images/OLAY820_giftcard_form.pdf
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
FREE Bandana
http://www.k2skis.com/jointhegang.asp
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FREE software Giveaway Daily
http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/
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FREE sample of peanut butter with olive oil and omega-3
http://www.hearts-n-minds.com/freetaste.cfm?rm=1
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FREE "Bad Dogs" keychain
http://www.baddogsbook.com/giveaway.php
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FREE Sample of Ringtonica Correction Pen
http://www.ringtonica.com/correction_pen/
A big thanks to Leanarda @ http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977544784 for this fabulous list! Be sure to check out more of her posts on Gather!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Millions of Monkeys
Got this in my email, and figured it would be great to share!
Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and
announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys
for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announce d that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ‘Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.’ The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars.
They never saw the man or his assistant again, only
lots and lots of monkeys!
Now you have a better understanding of how the
WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK !!!!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Best Free Sites for Online Storage? Advice Welcome!
Ok, so I have a good computer, but do worry, because I am a music addict... and have a few too many photos stored too, I'll admit! I have to wonder how much faster my computer would be if I weren't storing it all on my harddrive. I've been doing a bit of searching tonight, but several of the sites delete your accounts if you don't use them for a certain amount of days, etc.
Which sites have you had success with? Do they offer enough space for a LOT of songs? Do they delete your account if you don't log in often enough? Are their free plans decent, or is it worth it to just go ahead and pay for the upgraded plans?
Would love to hear your opinions and recommendations!
Thanks all, and hope you all have a very Merry Christmas, or a happy time, no matter what you do, or don't, celebrate!
Help find missing kids! Urgent!
Hi all! I have a close friend, who is going through hell right now, as his children have, basically, been kidnapped.
In January, of this year, Stan (my friend) was going through a rough time, so his children stayed with their older sister, Stan's daughter, temporarily until he could get on his feet. He signed a paper, giving her guardianship, but never signed it in front of a notary, and it was never handled through the court system. Stan has been driving back and forth, from Oklahoma to Texas, to visit his two children, and has been giving his daughter money for their care, as well as buying them things they need. A couple months ago, Stan got things together, and got a home fit for his children. He went to Texas, and informed his daughter that he wanted his children back. Legally, this should have ended the guardianship right then and there, since it was an informal guardianship (I have been studying the laws on this). His daughter refused to return his children, so he returned with the police. The daughter claimed the children were no longer there, although Stan visited them at her residence the previous day. The police did not search, and did nothing to help. They returned the following day, and this time searched the home, but, by this time, she had disposed of all their clothing, etc. and hidden the kids elsewhere, claiming she gave them to their birth mother, who has no custodial rights, and abandoned the children when they were a few months old. The birth mother has outstanding warrants in several states, and is clearly not fit to raise these children.
The fact of the matter is, we do not believe she gave the children to their mother, rather we believe she has them in hiding.
Stan is disabled, and has no money for attorneys, and has, in fact, been spending every dime he can get, going back and forth to Texas, trying to find his children. Although he does not have a lot of money, he has raised his children all these years by himself, and is a very loving father.
I have advised him to file kidnapping charges tomorrow, with the Norman, OK police department. All I am asking is, if you have any information regarding the whereabouts of these people, or any information that may help with the case, is that you would contact the Norman, OK police at (405)321-1600 or send me an email (Stan does not have computer access) at findstanskids@gmail.com .
Stan's daughter, who is refusing to return the children is Aretha A Johnson, and lives in Red Oak, TX. The children's mother's location is unknown, as she has been hiding, due to the multiple warrants for her arrest in several states. Her name is Natasha Lorraine Henson. The two children are Rashawn and Natoya Johnson, and the father, who is searching for his children, is Stanley Johnson, who resides in Norman, OK.
Any information at all would be greatly appreciated, and please, please feel free to forward this on, so we can find his kids. I will be getting more information, such as recent photos of the children, tomorrow, and will update as soon as possible.
Thanks in advance for any help and/or prayers!
Thanks for all the emails (sarcastic!) :P
I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan ...
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Have a Merry Christmas and have a happy new Year anyway.
My, you're getting old!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Life, or Something Like It
Welcome to my first attempt at a real blog! Just wanted to introduce myself, and tell you a bit about me.
I am a full-time mother of four, who works at home to make ends meet. I have been working from home for nine years now, and absolutely love the freedom it allows me, as well as, of course, the money! :P
I have had a StumbleUpon blog for a couple years, but don't consider that a "real" blog, so I figured I'd give it a go here.
I look forward to sharing information regarding surveys and other money making opportunities, and, of course, will probably blab about my family and kids in there too! lol
I look forward to becoming part of the community.
Thanks for reading!
I am a full-time mother of four, who works at home to make ends meet. I have been working from home for nine years now, and absolutely love the freedom it allows me, as well as, of course, the money! :P
I have had a StumbleUpon blog for a couple years, but don't consider that a "real" blog, so I figured I'd give it a go here.
I look forward to sharing information regarding surveys and other money making opportunities, and, of course, will probably blab about my family and kids in there too! lol
I look forward to becoming part of the community.
Thanks for reading!
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